Backhanded
by The Humanoid Cat Angel
Summary: Why must Roy be punished for being just a little curious? All he wanted was an answer, a TRUE answer, and Marth isn't helping... or is he? NO YOAI!


**A/N**:**Hey guys, this story came out of nowhere, spawned from my colorful imagination. In this story, Pit will mainly be referred to as a 'he' because Roy is told he is male, even though he does not believe so. Hope you like!^^**

* * *

Backhanded

Have you ever been back handed? I have, and it's the worst. What for, you might ask? For being a little curios. Okay, so too curious, but you get my point. The worst part is I'm still curious because I never got my answer.

It was a regular day at the smash mansion, and I had decided to pay my good buddy Marth a visit. We decided to spend the day outside and catch up, when I spotted one of the newer smashers playing Frisbee. Pit, I think his name was. See this is what I was confused about. Was Pit really a guy, or a girl in disguise? Don't look at me like that, if you saw the angel you'd be confused, too. His face just had this feminine look with his big, sparkly, blue eyes, rosy cheeks, and pink lips. He even had a slender frame. Right now, I bet you're thinking that I have a crush on the dude. Well at first, you wouldn't be wrong, because at first I thought that "he" was a "she". Yeah, yeah, laugh it up but I was convinced that was a girl. So I asked Marth who the chick was and he fell over in a fit of laughter. At first, I thought my best friend went nuts, but when he finally composed himself he told me the "chick" was a guy named Pit. I was shocked, to say the least. I didn't believe him, and I told him so, so he told me to ask him himself. As if, silly Marth and his ridiculous suggestions. Instead of doing that stupid action, I decided to do something more practical, like spying. So, I decided to spend the rest of the day stalking this "Pit" person. Yup, I'm stalking him/her. Best idea I could come up with at the moment, so I just went with it.

* * *

As it turns out, this smasher is a complete spaz, seriously! I say that because he doesn't stay in one place for more than 30 min. at a time, so stalking him/her was a pain in the face band. First I followed the angel into the TV room where he met up with Link's incarnate and a kid in a red hat to watch some anime. Apparently, they were One Piece junkies. That shows not my type of anime but I watched from a far anyways. They just so happen to come to the part were the main character's brother dies, and let's just say they weren't quiet about it. After that fiasco, I followed him to the dining hall. This angle was a glutton. He was nothing compared to Kirby, but that didn't mean he couldn't eat a ton. He went to the kitchen to ask for a snack from Peach, who was in charge of the kitchen when it was open, and was given a whole tray of fruits and meats. He downed it in two minutes flat. I am NOT exaggerating. After thanking Peach for the (did he say _snack?!) _food, he made his way to the game room where he hung out with another one of Link's incarnates (Jeeze, someone's busy in the future) and those two psychic kids in similar shirts to play Mario karts 8. Apparently, the angel is very skilled in video games. At this point, I was getting annoyed because of the lack of info I was getting. All I got so far is that he/she was a OP fan, a glutton, and a video game master. A guy would usually fit that description, but with the girls these days that can mean anything. While I was pondering, it seems the kids had enough of getting their butts handed to them and decided to call it quits. Making sure that I was hidden, I followed him back to the TV room where he challenged the whole room to Epic Frisbee. It seems this smasher was also a nut. The room consisted of Link, Fox, Falco, Captain Falcon, and Samus (in her zero-suit). Yup, completely nuts. I decided to take a different approach on the stalking, a more… direct approach…

"Hey, I wanna play, too!" I have a strong feeling I'm going to hate myself later.

* * *

So the plan was to get close enough to check out Pit's physical features to draw my conclusion. The problem is, I can't even get close. Apparently, Epic Frisbee stood for Hand-to-Hand combat Frisbee, where the goal is the same, pass the generic flying disc to a team mate, but you have to fend off the other team AND catch it before it hits the ground. The teams had three people each, Pit, Link, and Capt. Falcon on one team, and Fox, me, and Samus on the other. Falco decided to be the ref. and keep score, which earned him some 'booing' and taunts. I later realize how much of a smart choice he made. This game probably would have been fun if some of the players weren't so brutal. Specifically, Samus and Link. It seems Samus didn't really care which team you were on, if you were in her way, you were getting mowed down. As for Link (or his descendant), if you got in an arm's length of his team mate when they had possession of the disc, you were going down, no questions asked. So it was almost impossible to focus on my goal when I got battle crazed smashers running at me with certain death shinning in their eyes. But the gods seemed to be smiling down upon me when I finally got my perfect chance. Falco called a foul when Pit apparently used his wings to catch the Frisbee, which was strictly forbidden. Pit insisted that he did no such thing and thus an argument took place. Those who wasn't interested in arguing decided to go get water with their spare time, which was Capt. Falcon and Fox, and the others we're too focused on the conversation to be paying any attention to me. So I used this golden opportunity to circle around the group until I was just behind Pit. From what I could tell, Pit had no breasts what-so-ever; he/she was completely flat-chested. Since I couldn't check the front, I had to suffice with the back. In my mind, guys don't have butts, that's something only women should have, in my opinion anyways (That's the only opinion that matters right now). So, as gently as possible, I lifted the tail of his toga and I began my analysis. Unfortunately, I didn't notice the argument suddenly quieted into a stunned silence until it was too late. I was ripped out of my thoughts and sent sprawling onto my back with a well-placed, and might I add POWERFUL, backhand from the vary person… er… angel I was studying. While I was trying to recollect my senses, I felt pressure on my chest and something cold and sharp pressed itself onto my neck. I opened to see a red, and very unhappy, Pit sitting on my chest with one of his daggers against my throat.

"For your sake," He began darkly. "You better have a good reason for violating my space like you did." His dagger glinted threateningly in the sunlight. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. The angles personality did a complete 180, his usual bright eyes burned with a restrained furry, while his face held no emotion at all. Dimly, I realized that the other players where laughing their heads of at the scene. I would have been embarrassed if the dagger didn't press deeper into my skin, drawing blood.

"I'm _waiting…_" He snarled.

"W-w-well, I-I err, was…" I stuttered while trying to sink into the earth. That was all I was able to get out with the amount of fear that was closing up my throat. Right when I thought he was going to slice my throat open, a voice saved me from certain death.

"Calm down, Pit, Roy is just being an idiot like usual." A blue-haired Prince's face entered my vision with a very amused face. "I see you're making new friends." He said sarcastically as he pulled the angel off of me. I laid there, dazed. I listened to Marth explain to Pit the reason I did what I did, giving me the impression that he had watched the whole scene play out, which in turn, brought an embarrassed blush to my face. From the sound of it, Pit was utterly devastated for my reason, apparently, he had come across this problem before and wasn't too happy about it happening again. After a long stretch of silence, Pits face invaded my vision. He was, if possible, redder than before, but that deadly look was gone, replaced with a depressed frown.

"To answer your question, I am a guy. I was never a girl. My past life was also male. And I am straight." With that he left, retreating back inside with Link and Samus following closely. At that one moment, I felt like a total idiot and jerk. That day was possibly the most embarrassing moment in mine _and_ Pit's life.

The worst part is, Pit _had _a butt.

* * *

**A/N: Hoped you enjoyed it and as they say; R&R!**


End file.
